Taking the first steps into toddlerhood

Source: margaretgruesbeck.com via Jamie on Pinterest

Just days before his first birthday a few weeks ago, my son began taking his first tentative steps. Although I’m proud and excited, I have to admit, it wasn’t the big momentous occasion that I had expected, which once again led me to realize that I watch too many movies. Like most things, he built up to walking very slowly. Two steps one day, then five steps a few days later, and now a few weeks later, he can toddle his way across a room. But now that he’s getting the hang of it, he’s bobbing and weaving around the house on his little unstable feet like the town drunk at 3 am. It’s hilarious and heart-warming all at the same time.

This big “step” led me to realize that, holy smokes, he’s not a baby anymore! He’s officially a toddler! Lord help us all, we have a toddler in the house. It’s not just the walking that has made me realize that he’s crossed over into toddlerhood... there are many other signs that the time has come. Here are a few observations that made me realize that a new era has dawned in my home:

· There are Cheerios everywhere. I’m constantly stepping on them, finding them stuck in my hair, sweeping them out of corners and emptying them out of the dust buster. The little buggers are more insidious than bed bugs! When you think you’ve rounded them all up, more pop up out of nowhere. Makes me wonder how many actually end up in my son’s mouth.

· Temper tantrums have begun. In true mini-drama queen fashion, the littlest things will set off a full-on tantrum, complete with tears and a theatrical scene in which my son throws his head back on to the floor, kicking and screaming.

· On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, he can now perform cute tricks on demand: blowing kisses, giving hugs, clapping his hands, waving bye-bye, hiding his face behind his hands until we say “peek-a-boo.” In an attempt to turn him into the ultimate flirt, I’m trying to teach him to bat his eyelashes. I know, maybe I should start working on teaching him to count or learn the alphabet. Maybe my priorities are a little off...

· Food has become much more interesting and my son always wants to eat what we’re eating and to feed himself (or to feed us). I’m happy to encourage his independence at the table but when he’s watching us eat French fries and refusing his own mushy peas and carrots because he wants a fry, I don’t love it as much.... does this mean we have to start eating mushy peas too? Ugh.

· Similarly, he is very decisive about what he likes and doesn’t like. And when he doesn’t like something, he flings it onto the floor. Which somehow always makes my husband and I launch into a diatribe about how there are starving children in Africa who would be happy to eat this food. As if he understands. And when did we turn into our grandparents? I’m pretty sure the “starving children in Africa” argument pre-dates our own parents.

Do you have a toddler in your house? What are some of the classic toddler behaviours that you’ve seen?

Eight things I learned in one year

Source: 1stwishes.com via Christina on Pinterest

Last week, my son turned one year old. I can’t believe it. The passage of time is so much more striking when you’re watching a child grow. As fully-grown adults, we could go years without really noticing ourselves age. I know I’ve looked at pictures of myself from ten years ago and passively thought “Huh, I looked younger then.”  But babies grow so fast that it’s astonishing how much they change from one month to the next, let alone in a year!

Celebrating my son’s birthday really got me thinking about how much I’ve learned this past year. If there was one year in which I’ve learned a lot, it’s this one! Here’s a very short list of my key learnings in the first year of being a mom:

1.   No matter how many books you read, nothing can truly prepare you for the journey of parenthood. The Baby Whisperer can tell you What to Expect and how to have the Happiest Baby on the Block with the No-Cry Sleep Solution but your baby’s the boss. It is entirely possible that at 3 am, you will be sitting in the dark, mentally composing hate mail to the Baby Whisperer because your baby just doesn’t want to do what she thinks is right.

2.   All babies are different... and yet, they are all the same. File this one under the WTF file. This is the reason that mothers sit around and compare notes on what their babies did that week. This is what sends us into paroxysms of anxiety when our five month-old still hasn’t rolled over but our neighbour’s six month-old is playing pat-a-cake.

3.   Everyone has an opinion about everything. If only I had a dollar for every time someone said “Maybe he’s hungry,” or “He looks ready for a nap,” or my all-time favourite: “If you put him to bed later, maybe he would wake up later/sleep through the night.” But hey, many’s the time I caught myself giving the same kind of advice to others, so as frustrating as it is, I have learned to accept it.

4.   It’s amazing how much time mothers spend thinking about, analyzing, and discussing poop. As one of the only indicators of health in a child who can’t speak, poop is the thing to watch. And sniff. And scrutinize.

5.   The human body has an amazing capacity to function on very little sleep. It doesn’t mean we’ll be nice about it, but we can make it by fairly well on just a few broken hours of shut-eye. But just because we can, doesn’t mean we should!

6.   Anyone who is able to “sleep when the baby sleeps” should be given an award. As the mother of a really lousy sleeper, I barely had time to pee when my baby slept, let alone try to squeeze in a nap. I admire those who are able to do it.

7.   You can really only TRULY appreciate your own mother when you become a mother yourself.  Not only do you gain a newfound respect for everything your mother has done, but grandmothers are an amazing source of help and support. They are a shoulder to cry on when you’ve had a rough day and if you’re lucky, they’ll fold your laundry so you can take a nap. And of course, not many other people will happily spend time sitting and listening to you go on about how amazing your child is. My mother and I shamelessly go on to each other about how wonderful and adorable my son is because, quite frankly, we can. And we know that we can’t do it with anyone else so it’s our own little guilty pleasure.

8.   All things pass in time. Take the most horrible, sleep-deprived, spit-up covered, poop exploding diaper day and file it away in the banks of your memory because those days will be gone before you can say “Pampers.” When you’re cursing your decision to become a parent, and you’re looking up the phone number of the nearest orphanage, just remember that whatever terrible phase you’re going through will pass. You will forget until your children are 30 years old with children of their own. And when they ask you “Was I like this as a baby?” you have two choices. You can rub it in their face that yes, they were indeed terrible children who never let you sleep. Or you can claim selective memory and let the past become a blur while you tell them, “You know, I just don’t remember having any sleepless nights with you.” I know I intend to remind my son of every torturous thing he did to me as a baby.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. The one thing that I can honestly say is that my life feels so much more complete now that my son is in it. I’m also more exhausted than I’ve ever been, with more gray hair and some stretch marks that will never go away. But it’s worth it because there is no feeling in the world like the love you feel for your child. And even though I have no idea what the heck I’m doing, he seems to be growing up just fine! Here’s to another great year filled with more amazing experiences...  

Diary of a working mom

This week, I joined the ranks of millions of working moms. It was so strange to think that when I left work a year ago, I was a different person. Not officially a mother yet, I could take my sweet time arriving at work in the mornings and if I had to work late, I didn't think twice about it. But at least now I no longer have to fight with my enormous belly and pregnant swollen feet to get my winter boots on when I leave the office!

Now that I have a child to care for every morning and come home to every evening, life has really changed. As a colleague said to me this morning "You work two shifts now."

Being a mother who works outside the home requires serious organization and can be exhausting - but those aren't the hardest parts.

For me, starting this new phase in life, the hardest part has been leaving my son for 8 hours a day. I'm not gonna lie, when my mother arrived to start her new job babysitting my son, I was mid-cry. My eyes were red and puffy and my son was looking at me like I was a crazy person. He may be onto something.

Going from spending 24/7 with your child to spending four (awake) hours with them is a big change! I miss the little guy - his chubby hands, mischievous smile and his constant babbling...

Once I arrived at the office, it wasn't so bad. My colleagues made me feel great - it was like being the popular girl in school! Who knew I had so many friends at work?! And I must admit that it was nice to drink a nice hot cup of coffee in the privacy of my cubicle. And have lunch with other adults... And go to the bathroom when I wanted to, without an audience....

A few days in, I think I'm getting my work groove back. The routine is starting to fall into place and things are feeling somewhat normal.

But that doesn't stop from pulling out my blackberry every five minutes to look at a slideshow of pictures of my son. And the odd coworker walking by has occasionally gotten sucked into viewing the aforementioned slideshow. Hey, cut me some slack - I'm new at this!

The end is near...

It's official. Next week, I will be a working mother. After a wonderful year of maternity leave, it's time to put on my big girl pants and go back to work.

People keep asking me how I feel about going back. My answer is always the same: I have mixed feelings. Some days I can't wait, some days I wish I were going to be a stay-at-home mom forever. This year has just flown by and I feel like my baby just wasn't a baby for very long! But deep down, I miss work. See? Mixed feelings!

So in order to help myself through the transition, I've compiled a list of things I will miss and things I won't miss.

I'll miss:

- A free and unlimited supply of baby hugs and kisses throughout the day

- Watching my son grow and thrive all day long, especially when he masters a new skill

- Going to the movies on Wednesday afternoons

- Playdates with other mommies

- Wearing yoga pants every day (see also below: what I won't miss)

- Rachael Ray in the mornings and Ellen in the afternoons

- Taking a more relaxed approach to life and not living according to a tightly organized schedule

- The summer! (seems so long ago now...)

What I won't miss:

- Wearing yoga pants every day

- Sometimes not brushing my teeth or changing out of my pjs before 11 am

- Struggling to get my son to nap

- Being housebound because of the weather (too hot, too cold, too snowy, too icy, too rainy)... Sometimes for days on end!

- Breastfeeding... We had a good long run but I'm glad to have my body back to myself again

I think I will miss a lot of things but the worst part of it all is that I will see my son for so few hours in the day. I may find myself sneaking into his room at night just to watch him sleep!

Oh well, as heartbreaking as it is to leave him behind every day, I must admit I look forward to seeing my colleagues again and getting a real paycheque again will feel good!

In the meantime I am getting my fill of hugs and kisses and I'm enjoying every last minute of this precious time!

See you on the flip side!

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

I'm proud of my son. These days, he's learning like crazy and seems to do five new things a day. He's just a few weeks away from his first birthday and he's a blast. This is a great age and very satisfying for me as a parent.

He has mastered the high-five and clapping his hands together. He gives kisses and hugs on request. He plays peek-a-boo like a pro. He dances with serious rhythm. He feeds himself with his hands and pretends to feed my husband and I with his spoon.

He also started doing a few new things this week that made us realize that he's watching our every move and picking up on our behavior. For example, yesterday he picked up the remote control and started pointing it at the television. I guess he wasn't into the documentary on Derek Jeter that my husband was watching.

He also spotted my husband washing his hands at the sink and started to rub his hands together in the same motion. When I prepare a bottle for him, he starts shaking his hand up and down because he knows that's what I'm about to do.

For now, the imitation is limited to harmless everyday activities. Which is great, because he's really learning how things work. But it made us realize something crucial. It's time to start being very careful about what we do and say.

Could it be that the reason he likes to nibble on my shoulder is because I occasionally like to pretend I'm eating his feet? Probably. Or that he blows raspberries on my flabby mom-tummy because I do the same to him when I'm changing him? Very likely!

So I guess it's time to stop using foul language, impolite gestures and yelling at other drivers on the road. And maybe we should stop nibbling his toes so he won't start biting other children. Who knows what other unconscious behaviors we are inadvertently passing on to our son?!

I guess it's time to grow up and be responsible parents because it's only a matter of time before imitation will no longer be flattering - it will be a one-way ticket to trouble!

Have your children ever imitated any of your actions? Did it result in any embarrassing situations?

Babyproofing... Or crazy-proofing?

As my curious and energetic 11-month-old continues his quest to touch, taste, grab, bite, feel, bounce off, climb and conquer every object and surface in our home, I find myself baby-proofing more than I ever thought possible.

There are those who believe that it's not a good idea to overdo the babyproofing thing, but rather to supervise and teach your children to respect their surroundings. I was one of those people until my son became mobile. And is he ever mobile. He's a speed-demon on hands and knees! And he wants it all.

So my house is becoming more like a fortress with every passing day. To paraphrase my mother-in-law, who had a similar experience with her own children, I don't want the only thing my son ever hears me say to be "no!"

I'm tired of peeling him away from potentially dangerous situations, rescuing him from slamming his fingers in drawers, trying to pull the television down onto himself and gnawing on my coffee table. His little teeth marks have left traces all over the house!

I can't help but wonder: Am I doing all this to keep him safe... Or to keep myself sane? Probably both!

So for those of who are embarking on this process for the first time, here are a few tips from my experience:

- Do the hands and knees test. Get down on the same level as your child and look for potential dangers.

- Place cleaning supplies, detergents, bleach, etc... on a high shelf or somewhere else out of reach. Same for medications and toiletries.

- Any small object narrower than a toilet paper roll presents a choking hazard for babies, so make sure the floors are clear when baby's crawling around.

- It was funny when the kids on Mad Men were playing with dry cleaning bags. But for crying out loud, keep the plastic bags away from the kiddies! My son eyes them hungrily, loving the sound, the feel, the forbidden allure....

There are so many more things to consider but here's what I've found: if a contraption exists for use in babyproofing, it is because babies will do the exact thing the contraption aims to protect them from. In other words, if your kid is anything like mine, he will stick his fingers in electrical outlets, pull down tall floor lamps and try to open every drawer and cabinet in sight.

One more thing: make sure you have the phone number for your local Poison Information Centre within reach because there will inevitably come a day when your child will ingest something questionable or scary. That day hasn't come in my house yet (knock on wood!) but if I know him, it's only a matter of time!

I Dream of Daycare

The countdown has begun - I go back to work in less than one month after a year of maternity leave. Gulp.

Naturally I'm a bit nervous about it but I'm also fully ready to start working again. I miss the office, my work, my colleagues ... and my heels! I'm ready to ditch the yoga pants and bad hair. I'm ready to go to the bathroom without an audience. I will miss my life as a stay at home mom, and especially spending my days with my son. He continues to amaze me every day as he grows and changes. But it's okay. I will hopefully do it again in a few years!

What I'm especially happy about is that I don't have to worry about sending my son to daycare...yet. I'm extremely fortunate to have an amazing mother who has graciously agreed to babysit her grandson for a few months until we land a coveted spot in a $7-a-day daycare. So I know that my son will not only be in good hands, but he'll be spending his days with one of his favorite people in the world. Win-win!

That being said, I'm estimating he will likely start going to daycare in September. He'll be around 18 - 19 months old. Which gives us a few months to prepare and make sure he's ready for a successful transition.

I've been concerned about how he'll nap at daycare but after talking to a few people, I've decided to ditch that concern. It will work itself out in time. I no longer want to worry about it.

But now I'm wondering what else we can do to prepare him for daycare. Mastering self-feeding? Learning to play well with other children? I realize he's still young but I'd like for him to start off on the right foot. Or am I the one who will need to prepare myself for this change?

Any tips for me from parents who are daycare veterans out there? I'd also love to hear from people who have worked in daycares.

What do you think? How should we prepare for daycare?